It’s very basic…and it’s very powerful!
There’s perhaps nothing more powerful in beginning a conversation, setting a frame, resetting someone else’s negative frame, or in overcoming an interpersonal challenge, than a smile.
A warm, authentic, and genuine smile that emanates from your heart…from the inside out.
Just as important, be willing to be the first one to smile. That most people don’t do this will only make it easier for you to find yourself to be much more influential.
Need to speak with a manager about a particular challenge the front-line person couldn’t help you with? Your smile will bring down his or her defensiveness, and set the tone for a pleasant, win/win discussion and positive result.
One main reason is that you’ve just separated yourself from practically everyone else whose “greeting” is a defensive, angry, or intimidating look. What kind of frame does that set?
In his book, “Working With Emotional Intelligence” Daniel Goleman writes what I believe to be a magnificent statement. According to Dr. Goleman, “It happens that smiles are the most contagious emotional signal of all, having an almost *irresistible* power to make other people smile in return.”
Think about that: a “contagious” (in a good way) “emotional signal.” As human beings we’re often so controlled by our emotions, and the smile we’re “exposed” to…is contagious. Talk about spreading something very positive.
Read any good book on people skills and there’ll be at least a mention of the power of a smile.
John Mason, author of “Let Go of Whatever Makes You Stop” writes that, “One of the single most powerful things you can do to *influence* others is to smile at them.”
From my experience I absolutely agree.
Dale Carnegie devoted an entire segment of his classic, “How To Win Friends & Influence People” to this single fact.
But what if smiling doesn’t come naturally for you? It’s okay. Just takes some practice. Fortunately, very easy to learn.
Simply imagine something that truly brings you joy. After a few practice sessions you’ll be able to bring forth that smile naturally, “from the inside out.”
Get that smile on your face before you deal with anyone; the service person, government bureaucrat, your boss, the waitperson, your spouse and children; everyone. Get yourself ready for that person to smile back at you and feel great about you.
Positivity Brings Results
Key point! You’re not just smiling for *them*…you’re smiling for YOU! Contrary to common belief, feeling does not precede action — action precedes feeling.
Put that smile on your face and you become happier, more at peace, non-defensive, etc., and that feeling *then* transfers to them.
As stated in a previous video, “positive expectation works, not because it changes them but because it changes *you*. And that’s what changes them.
You can employ this simple action everyday with incredible results. You’ll be delighted (sometimes, astounded!) by the special, over-the-top assistance you’ll so often receive… just because the person is so positively touched by your smile.
Today, while feeling grateful for all your blessings, let them bring a smile to your face.
A smile “from the inside out.”