Recently, I posted on my Facebook page:
“Focusing on how the *other person* views the situation is a great start to resolving a difficult interaction.”
Yet, this can be difficult because—in order to do this—we must step out of our emotional mind and into our calm and rational mind.
Related Article: Conflict is Unavoidable
Not easy to do when caught up in conflict. However, those who can master their emotions and do this consistently are the most powerful and influential communicators.
Steps To Make This Happen
- Picture someone you know who embodies the above. It’s not a coincidence that they are very successful and highly respected.
- Picture yourself doing the same. Imagine how successful and highly (self)-respected you will be.
- Imagine future situations where you are in the midst of a very difficult interaction. The other person is becoming angry as they express their views.
- Imagine you—on the other hand—being very calm and in (self)-control. Now see yourself focusing on how they view the situation.
- Imagine yourself asking the right questions so that you fully understand, and then deciding how to proceed.
- See yourself handling the situation beautifully and bringing it to a win-win outcome.
Important Point: Focusing on the other person’s viewpoint is not the same thing as agreeing with them. It simply means that you are placing yourself in a better position of understanding.
I don’t think anyone phrased it any better than Dr. Stephen R. Covey in his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People when he wrote, “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”
Master this and watch your influence soar. And that you won’t have to imagine!